Here on our blog we’re shining a light on Mums from all walks of life. In this article we talk to Terri. Mum to Reeva Renee and Daria Rose, she’s based in United Kingdom. Read on to see what she has to say on all things parenting…
What does Parenting mean to you ?
My idea of Parenting is simple. Provide my kids with all they need so they have the best childhood memories but in the same time give them the right tools for later in life, I don’t want to spoil them or even worse, I don’t want them to become entitled, I want them to grow and believe that they can achieve anything they want in life. Whatever goals they want to achieve, I want them to believe that they can do it. Of course, when I say goals, I don’t talk about becoming a huge Pop singer if you do not have the tools to achieve that. Like voice, for example. Real goals, achievable.
How did your life changed after having your first child ?
I am bipolar, so I struggle mentally for many years now, when I got pregnant with my first I was so scared, I thought I will not be able to handle it, but she saved my life and she changed my world completely. Everything that I do, I do it for them, for my kids. So your next point in life, your next level in life, let’s put it like that, it comes after overcoming your biggest fear. For me, it was this one, I thought I will not be able to be a good parent for my first born but here I am now, mother of two, and I am doing a pretty good job, I would say.
In your opinion, what’s the most rewarding aspect of parenting?
I think the simple things are the most rewarding. Learning to eat with the fork, learning how to walk, these kind of things. It is nice to see them growing and become little people. And it is a bhuge satisfaction to know that they learned all these things with your help. It’s not necessarily the big things, like graduating from who knows what high-school or winning an important contest. It is the small things first, if they learn how to do that properly, they will learn how to do the big things the right way.
How is Parenting today comparing to the way you have been raised by your parents ?
The way I raise my children is a lot different from the way I’ve been raised by my parents. When I was a children, I think I used to have more freedom, nowadays is a lot more pressure on kids and parents. Social Media has a big impact as well nowadays, when lots of parents compare themselves with the ones from Social Media. And issue is that on Social Media we only see the good things, we don’t see all the frustration, lack of sleep, all those moments, they are not advertised on Social Media. For example, I always show all the good and the bad in my life, just to be aware that life is not always great and it is normal. With ups and downs, that is life. People need to share more of the frustration moments.
What was the hardest moment in this journey, as a family, to overcome?
Personally, with myself. When I got pregnant with my second daughter in January, she was not planned, I hate to admit, but I really regretted it, I did not think she would fit in the family, I did not think I would be able to cope with it, specially with me being bipolar, but in the end it proved to me that everything happens for a reason, so now I absolutely love her, it was a though pregnancy, I was not ready for a second baby. It prooved to me once again that life gives you what you need, not what you want. Now, I am so so happy with her and with my family.
What annoys you the most about Parenting ?
The advice you get. You get advice from anyone, either you ask for it or you don’t. To be honest, you just need to do whatever works for you, there is no universal advice or magic pill that works for every situation. You have to pick the information, apply it and see if it works for you. If not, that’s ok, try something else. Don’t listen to everyone, it is easy to talk and give advice, I feel we live in this kind of world, where sometimes people believe they know everything and because of that they can give advice on anything. Don’t listen to anyone, do whatever you think it’s better for you.
Now is your chance to embarrass your kid – tell me an embarrassing story
Not really any crazy stories here, it is just a constant reminder from my daughter. She loves to tell in front of everyone that she needs to poop. Like she does not care how many people, or what kind of social context we are in, she just needs to do her stuff and she says it loud and clear, she is not embarrased or anything like that. Kids don’t care about other people opinion, they just do whatever they need at the moment, maybe we should learn from that.
We’re gonnna continue our series, Family Stories, here on the blog, to point out the ups and downs of being a Parent, there is no doubt that there is more ups than downs and over time all those bad moments and challenges they pale compared to the good things… so many good things…