Here on our blog we’re shining a light on Mums from all walks of life. In this article we talk to Becki. She’s a Mum to Caleb and Essie. She started documenting every aspect of her life, from motherhood to fashion and style. Concious of the balance between her digital presence and real world life, she still includes the children but via her blog. She’s continuing to pursue her passion for fashion through her Instagram content.
What does parenting mean to you?
When our parents had us there wasn’t as much spoken about what we are and are not doing. Now there’s an element of pressure to how you’re bringing up your child – now there’s so many more “dos and don’ts”. But whatever the case, I just want my children to know that we are there for them, no matter what. Talking is so important. I want to instill in my children, that it’s okay to feel certain ways sometimes. They’re loved by me and their Dad. They can be whoever they want to be, whatever that means! It may sound a bit stereotypical but I want them to always be kind to other people. Kindness goes such a long way.
In your opinion, what’s the most rewarding bit of being a parent ?
Loads! Them even just saying “mummy” and “daddy” is awesome. These little people that represent you in so many ways but have their own personalities. In their eyes you are amazing. All the milestones they go through – it’s all stupidly fast. They go from newborn to school in about 5 minutes, it’s crazy! Some days it doesn’t feel like that, but when they hit milestones like learning words or starting to read, you know you’ve helped them do that, which is amazing! Even seeing their view of the world, you’ve influenced that! They also teach you a lot about yourself like patience and how to be a child again!
How do you think your parents have shaped how you’ve bought your kids up?
You certainly look to how your parents did it, for guidance mainly as you have no other way to know sometimes what to do. For instance, we were not allowed sweets, during the week, Sunday was sweetie day, so as an adult, I knew I wanted to do the same for my children, that its a treat. Being open and talking was a big one for me, My family are quite an open family compared to my husband’s, so like all families it’s all about teamwork. The challenge can sometimes be linking two different childhoods together to create one parenting style.
Every parent looks to their past and wants to add something to their children’s path and so on, my dad for instance worked a lot and feels he didn’t do as much as he would have liked with us (I personally don’t look at it like that, we had a very lovely childhood with nice holidays, because he worked so hard) but now hes a grandparent, hes having a second go as it were! The grand kids get away with everything with him…
Now is your chance to embarrass your kids – tell me an embarrassing story!
I think your first born has an element of perfection. I think this is a ploy, so you end up having more kids! This week I was called into school because he’d stuck play-doh in his ear and they’re not allowed to remove it! I had to go up with my own tweezers and fish it out! That’s one for the list…
My daughter hasn’t done anything embarrassing yet but I’m sure out of the two of them, she’ll have way more stories in the future! She’s just different and a bit more of a firecracker!
What annoys you the most about parenting?
I’m lucky that my husband is as entwined in the parenting as I am. It’s not a case of him “babysitting” – its your child, you’re not babysitting!
You cannot just clock off, or leave it at the office. It’s a constant list in your head – whether it’s getting things ready for school the next day or it’s doctors appointments. Once you’ve committed to taking on that responsibility of starting a family, that’s it!
Its not something that annoys me, so to speak, but the pressure of wanting to just ‘getting it right’ You only have some control on what will/can happen but ultimately its your child’s journey and that can be a bit scary.
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